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  • How Many After School Activities are too Many?
  • Teens and Driving
  • Teen Smoking
  • Teen Peer Pressure
  • Teen Relationships
  • Is Your Teen Safe When Riding His Bike?
  • Teenagers and Acne
  • Important Things To Teach Your Teen About Money
  • Introducing Your Teen To Charity
  • 7 Tips To Make a Smooth Transition between Work and Family Time

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How Many After School Activities are too Many?

Posted on March 5, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

Teenagers are involved in so many activities these days. There are sports – one for each season of the year – that require them to attend practice as well as games. There’s band practice and games to play at as well as band competitions. Then, if they’re involved in any school clubs – FBLA, FHA, FFA, FCA, or foreign language clubs – they’ll have activities for those, too. How many after school activities are too many?

Do your children and teen’s activities have you running every day of the week? With younger children you’ll be responsible for taking them to scout meetings or to various practices. As they grow up and learn to drive, they can get back and forth on their own. But how do you decide which activities should stay and which should go?

Have your children been having problems completing their homework because they’re not home? Are their grades failing because they’re not doing their schoolwork or are too tired to concentrate in class? If so, you may want to consider making some changes to your family’s schedule.

Maybe you weren’t able to participate in something you wanted to do when you were younger. This may have clouded your thinking to allow your children to participate in too many extracurricular activities. Perhaps it’s time to reduce the number of things you allow your children to do.

You may want to take a serious look at the amount of time your family spends away from home. Ask each person to write down on a piece of paper all of the different things they do, when they meet, and how long the meetings are. This might include sports, band, religious activities, scouting, volunteer obligations, and parent’s business meetings.

After you’ve seen just how many activities each person is involved in, you may see the need to reduce how much time each family member spends away from home. Perhaps each person should be limited to one activity per season. Instead of allowing one person to participate in a sport and band or choir, have them choose one or the other.

If your child or teen is an athlete, their team is depending upon them to show up for practices and for each game. If they decide not to continue to play that sport after the season is over, that’s okay. However, deciding to quit in the middle of the season would affect the rest of the team. It would be better to let another activity go if they are away from home too much.

When trying to decide how many after school activities are too many, don’t forget to include your own activities. You may be too busy after work to enjoy time with your family. Your goal may be to allow the children, teens, and adults in your family to learn and enjoy activities. However, you may learn that too many activities makes the parents busy chauffeurs and children tired.

Teens and Driving

Posted on March 4, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

It’s finally here. Your teen recently had a birthday and they are now old enough to get their learner’s permit to learn to drive. While you may appreciate not having to chauffeur them all over, you may wonder if your teen and driving are a good combination.

Maybe you wouldn’t view your teen learning to drive with so much trepidation if the statistics for teenage driving weren’t so dismal. From what you’ve read, you can expect traffic violations such as speeding and the accompanying fines. Then there’s the possibility of accidents and possibly worse. You’re just not sure you’re ready to let your teen behind the wheel.

Remember, however, that your teen is growing up and learning to drive is a natural part of the process. Can you recall how you felt when you were their age and were about to embark on the path to freedom? Your teen isn’t any different. They’re looking forward to being able to get around with their parents just like you did.

Does your high school offer driver’s education classes? If they do have the class, be sure to sign your teen up for it as soon as you can. Learning in a class will give them the skills they need. When your child passes the driver’s test, having driver’s ed class should also give you a discount on your car insurance. To be sure, check with your local agent.

Before they get behind the wheel for the first time, sit down and talk with them. Explain to them how important it is to follow the rules of the road. Give them the handbook they’ll need to read and know before they can take their driver’s test.
If you want them to follow the speed limit, make sure you follow the limit as well. It’s helpful to remember that more is caught than taught, and that goes for driving, too.

Explain to them that using a cell phone while driving isn’t safe. The best thing to do would be to either pull over and take the call or ask someone else to take the call. You will then be able to keep your hands on the steering wheel and your eyes on the road.

Be sure your teen always puts on their seat belt before turning the car on. This goes for everyone in the car, not just the driver. This one simple act could save their life just like it does for thousands of people each year.

Encourage your teen to pay attention to what’s going on around them even if they aren’t driving. By paying attention while a passenger, it will increase the likelihood that they’ll pay attention when it counts.

Before taking their driver’s license test, your teen will most likely ask you to take them driving. Pay attention to how well they follow the rules of the road. Compliment them if they’re doing a good job, but don’t be afraid to offer constructive criticism if they’re not doing something correctly.

Teens and driving seem to go together, at least from the standpoint of the teen. While you may not be ready for your teen to drive, it’s going to happen. Try to be supportive, give them the benefit of your experience, and ensure they’re signed up for driver’s education classes as soon as they’re ready. Before you know it your teen will be able to chauffeur you instead of it being the other way around.

Teen Smoking

Posted on March 3, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

Ask anyone who has ever smoked and then quit, and they’ll tell you they wish they’d never started to smoke. Instead of starting as a teen, smoking could have been avoided. In fact, those who have been smoking for years will tell your teen that smoking is a dead-end addiction that should be avoided at all costs.

It’s important as a parent to begin talking about smoking to your children when they are young. Explain to them the dangers of smoking. Talk with them while they’re young and more willing to listen to what you have to say. It’s also important for you to be available to them in case they have questions. Always answer them as honestly as you can.

If you’ve been talking about the dangers of smoking while your children were growing up, they may feel like they’ve heard everything before when they reach their teen years. It’s important to keep talking, however. No matter how hard it may be, do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open. They’ll need your love, guidance, support, and trust now more than ever before, because peer pressure is often worst at this age.

Experts agree that the most preventable causes of death in the United States are those caused by smoking. Not only is smoking a leading cause of various types of cancer, it is also a major contributor to heart disease. If you smoke and have high cholesterol, your chances of having a heart attack greatly increase.

Many teens think that smoking makes them look older, and it’s true. The nicotine dries out the skin and makes it thinner. Chances are, however, that you don’t want to look like a piece of beef jerky. To maintain a healthy, youthful glow, avoid smoking.

Remember, if you smoke, your teen will be more likely to pick up the habit. As a parent you can do so much to encourage your teen to avoid smoking. Associating with others that don’t smoke can also have a positive effect on their choice to smoke or not.

Help your teen to deal with being offered a cigarette. Role play with them by offering them a cigarette and give them the opportunity to say “no thank you.” By role playing often, you’ll get them used to saying “no thank you” whenever someone offers them a cigarette or possibly worse.

To drive home the dangers of teen smoking, you may want to introduce your teen to someone who has smoked all their lives and has lung cancer. It may scare them and they may think you’re being cruel; however, if it scares them enough, they may decide that smoking is not for them. And that, in the long run, is the goal – to keep your teen from starting to smoke in the first place.

Teen Peer Pressure

Posted on March 2, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

One thing that parents definitely don’t look forward to when their children become teens is teen peer pressure. It seems as though their previously level-headed preteen has become a totally different person overnight. You can help your teen cope with peer pressure but it may take some effort on your part.

In some cases teen peer pressure can be a good thing. A lot of that depends upon the friends that your teen has. If they are respectful, conscientious, and hard-working it is called positive peer pressure. On the other hand, if your daughter decides to dye her hair purple and begin wearing nothing but black, the friends she has have a negative peer pressure affect on her.

The simplest definition for peer pressure is friends influencing one another’s behavior. This influence can be from verbal cues, non-verbal cues, or may even be totally unconsciously passed on by their friends. If you learn to recognize the effect your child’s friends have on them, you can help them maneuver around peer pressure while they are teens. This may also help them make better decisions or avoid some typical teen pitfalls.

Remember what it was like for you as a teenager. You may be able to recall how your friends influenced your actions, thoughts, or words. Most of the peer pressure your teen will face won’t be anything to seriously worry about. However, some friends will try to encourage your teens to smoke, take drugs, drink, or experiment with sexual activity before they’re ready. These are the types of peer pressure you want to be aware of.

Maintaining an open line of communication with your teen will allow you to discuss any changes your teen may make. For instance, if your teen starts speaking to you in a derogatory manner, you may want to ask them about any new friends they have. Don’t talk to them in an accusatory fashion, but try to find out what has changed recently.

Here are some warning signs that your teen could be adversely affected by teen peer pressure and may be headed down a road they’d rather not travel:

* They dramatically change their hair, clothes, or the music they listen to. If the changes are drastic and quick, they may be hanging around with a new group of friends who are not a good influence on them.

* Skipping school is another indication that your teen is succumbing to negative peer pressure. Don’t expect your teen’s school to contact you about absences; call and ask them.

* Their grades have slipped. If your A and B student starts getting Cs or worse, this is an indication that something or someone is causing a change in them. Perhaps your child is experimenting with drugs, so don’t take this sign lightly. It truly could be a life or death situation.

* They are isolating themselves from the family. If your teen feels they need to hide something from you, they know it’s easiest to do this if they avoid you altogether. This should be a big red flag that something isn’t right.

* Changes in sleep patterns could also indicate a problem with drugs. While sleeping late may not always indicate this, if it happens quite often you’ll want to have a talk with your teen.

Teen peer pressure doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Quite often your teen’s friends will have a positive influence on them. As a parent it’s important to notice the warning signs of negative peer pressure, step in, and help them cope with the pressure they’re feeling.

Teen Relationships

Posted on March 1, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

It has never been easy to be a teenager. Not when you were one and not now when you have a teen of your own. That’s why it’s so important to teach your teen about healthy relationship to begin with. Teen relationships are important and you want your child to have the best chance at having great relationships.

You want your children to have healthy relationships, and that doesn’t merely mean romantic relationships. You want their friendships to be healthy, as well. Having healthy friendships now will enable them to know what a healthy romantic relationship is like in the future. Fortunately, your teen has you to help them recognize and choose healthy teen relationships.

Physical, mental, emotional, or sexual abuse is not healthy in any way, shape, or form. In fact, one of eleven teens has been purposely hit during the past twelve months. If their friends have put them down or tried to change something about them, they could possibly be in an unhealthy relationship. Parents need to be aware of what’s going on in their teen’s life so they can recognize aspects of an unhealthy relationship and pull their teen out of a possibly dangerous place.

Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect. One person isn’t trying to control the other in any way. They are able to talk honestly about things that concern them and they share decision making. There is also mutual trust with support for each other. An unhealthy relationship, on the other hand, is not balanced at all. In fact, one person will try to manipulate or control the other by using verbal insults, putdowns, or physical violence.

Teach your teen to show respect and consideration for others and to expect the same treatment in return. If they feel they’re not being treated in a respectful manner, encourage them to end the relationship before it develops any further.

Teens also need to learn how to deal with anger in an effective, non-violent way. When they can do this, they will recognize someone who can’t and can steer clear of them.

No matter who you are, you’re probably going to have problems at one point or another. If your teen is in relationship that causes them to feel uneasy or unsafe, they’ll need to know how to diffuse a problem without allowing it to become physical. Teach them to turn problems into win-win situations for everyone involved.

It’s also important for your teen to know how to show affection for someone without having sex with them. This may seem like something you’d only worry about with your teen daughters, but your teen sons also need to know that affection and sex are not equal. This will help them to be prepared to counter the suggestion “we’d do it if you loved me.” Forewarned is forearmed.

Keep communication lines open with your teen so they know they can come to you to discuss anything they are going through. You want them to come to you with problems they may be having in their teen relationships. Encourage them to talk things that concern them and invite them to ask questions. Answer those questions honestly and they’ll be more likely to come to you if they do have serious concerns in the future.

Encourage your teens to make friends with other teens that have the same values as your family. Finally, the best way for your teen to understand about healthy relationships is to see them modeled before them. Teen relationships can be a tricky business, but they can also be the basis for lifelong friendships.

Is Your Teen Safe When Riding His Bike?

Posted on February 28, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

Whenever a loved one is on the road, you want them to be safe, including when they’re riding a bicycle. Teen bicycle safety is important because it begins to teach them the rules of the road they’ll need to know when they get their driver’s license. The rules of the road are generally the same for bicyclists as it is for other vehicles on the road.

Teach your teen that the best way to remain safe while riding a bicycle is to be predictable in your actions, to be visible by using reflective clothing, and to communicate what you intend to do to the motorists around you. Have your teen familiarize themselves with the rules of the road handbook so they know how to signal by hand.

Be sure the bike your teen will be riding is the right size and that it is properly adjusted. They should have reflectors on the spokes and a red rear reflector on the bicycle so they can be easily seen at night. It is also a good idea to wear a white headlight to be seen, regardless of how stupid your teen thinks it makes them look.

Most bikes can be equipped with a rack over the rear wheel. If your teen’s bike doesn’t have one, you may want to have one added. This will allow them to carry items such as books or a backpack. They should always carry a basic tool kit just in case they have problems with their bike.

Remind your teen to wear a bicycle helmet whenever they plan to take a bike ride. While they may not like the helmet, it is required by law for everyone under the age of eighteen.

Here are some other rules of the road that they’ll need to follow:

* Always ride with the traffic flow.

* If you ride with others, you should ride in a straight line.

* Unless you are turning left, you should always stay to the right side of the road.

* You are required to stop at stop signs and all red lights. You can continue once the light has changed to green.

* Keeping a safe distance from parked cars is also important. This will keep the cyclist from colliding with you.

* Be sure to use proper hand signals when turning, stopping or changing lanes.

* If you’re riding while it’s raining, use extra caution and allow extra time to stop on the wet roads.

* Bicycles should cross railroad tracks at a right angle.

* When you reach a crosswalk, get off your bike and walk it across.

* Hearing is important while riding a bicycle. Therefore, don’t wear headphones on both ears while riding your bike. It will be distracting and could be a contributing factor in having an accident.

* As with driving a car, never drink and ride your bike.

* Ride defensively and pay attention to what is going on around you.

* Even though you’re not as large as a car or truck, it is important to always give pedestrians the right of way.

Teen bicycle safety may be an afterthought once your teen starts to learn to drive a car. That’s not the time to let safety take a backseat, however. Remind them that they should treat any time they’re riding a bike on the road as if it were a car. The rules of the road are the same so they should know what the rules are and obey them.

Teenagers and Acne

Posted on February 27, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

Acne is a condition that is common among teenagers across the world. Over 70% of teens between the ages of 12 and 19, and sometimes into adulthood, have acne in some form or severity. This could be caused by hereditary or poor skincare, but there’s no doubt teen acne can scar more than skin.

Primarily acne is caused by the glands released at puberty that cause the oil glands to produce more oil than is needed. This leads to pores being blocked and the development of pimples or blackheads. Thankfully there’s something a teen, or adult for that matter, can do to combat acne.

If the case of acne is mild, it’s important to wash your face daily with a mild cleanser. This helps open the pores and remove the excess oil. It’s also important to keep your hands away from your face. Eating a diet of fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as drinking plenty of water, can also help your skin be healthy.

Severe cases of acne aren’t going to clear up by washing your face. You may have to see a general doctor or dermatologist. They can prescribe gels, lotions, or other medications that can help get rid of acne.

It may be easiest to think that acne will clear up on it’s own over time. The fact is that few people merely outgrow it. In fact, if acne is left untreated, it can cause scarring that is more than skin deep. Severe acne can cause teens to have poor self-esteem or other emotional problems that could be averted if their acne was treated promptly.

While it’s true that most people will develop and have to deal with acne, telling your teen that everyone their age has acne won’t help them. They need you to listen to them and understand that they feel bad about their own acne problem. You don’t have to baby them, but if you’ll think back to how you felt as a teen with acne, you’ll have a better appreciation for what they’re going through.

Here are some other statements that parents have used in the past when talking about acne with their teens. They may even be things your own parents said to you. Think back to how you felt and you’ll know why it’s better to leave these things unsaid:

* “You eat too much junk food, that’s why you have acne.” The truth is that there isn’t any scientific evidence to prove that our diets directly affect acne.

* “If you washed your face, you wouldn’t break out.” This may be partially true. Proper washing is important, but acne starts under the skin’s surface, not on top of it.

* “Popping pimples will get rid of them.” Actually it’s better to leave acne alone. The more you mess with acne the higher the chances are that you’ll develop scarring.

* “Learn to live with it, it’ll go away.” More than 40% of teens with acne have it so severely that they need to see a dermatologist to get it under control.

The old adage says that “beauty is only skin deep.” It’s important for your teen to know that they are the same great person whether they have acne or not. Explain to them that their personality, how much they care about others, and their intelligent conversations are what makes people want to be friends with them. And if they’re true friends, acne won’t keep them from remaining as friends. In fact, it may help them learn to deal with their own when they develop teen acne.

Important Things To Teach Your Teen About Money

Posted on February 26, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

What is it about teens? They often think their parents are made of money. Of course, this isn’t a new problem parents face. However, teaching teens the value of money can help them learn where money comes from and how to handle it properly.

If you’re successful at teaching teens about money while they’re young, they’ll be less likely to have money problems in the future. At least that’s your hope as a parent - for your children to grow up and avoid the mistakes you may have made, whether financial or not.

You may want to consider giving your teen an allowance if you haven’t already done so. This will help them learn about money. Their allowance doesn’t have to be associated with doing chores, since chores are something that everyone in the family does to help make the family home run smoothly.

Sit down as a family and decide how much of an allowance your teen should get and what you expect them to learn about money. If they’re old enough to get a part-time job, allowing them to do that will give them their own money, but you’ll still want to give them help with what to do with it.

Help them open a savings and a checking account. This will give them a way to save some of the money they make and a way to track their spending. If they want a particular brand of shoes or jeans that you refuse to buy because of how expensive they are, suggest they save up for that item. Talk about a way to learn how to value money! If they want that item badly enough, they’ll understand how long it takes them to work to buy it. They may find that they don’t want the item after all.

Use the checking account to help your teen learn the importance of balancing their checkbook each month. If this is a skill you’re lacking in, perhaps the two of you can go to the bank and ask someone to show you both how to do that to keep from spending more than you have.

To help your teen realize the value of money, show them how to search for bargains. You can do this by comparison shopping or by going to yard sales, thrift stores, and consignment stores. Quite often you can buy name brand items for much less than in a traditional store.

Do everything you can to keep your teen from opening a credit card account. Credit can play an important role in your teen’s financial future, but it’s better for them to avoid it until they are an adult and have a full-time job so they can pay their bills.

Most importantly, if they make a mistake with their money by overdrawing their checking account, don’t rush to bail them out. They need to learn that spending more money than they have is not something they want to do. Let them face going to the bank to pay the overdraft fees. This is one way of teaching teens the value of money - even though the lesson isn’t an easy way to learn what not to do, it will be a lesson they’ll never forget.

Introducing Your Teen To Charity

Posted on February 25, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

Economic hardships and natural disasters have a way of bringing out the best in people. Instead of being stingy and holding on to their money, many people dig deep and try to help others. This could by giving money or by volunteering time. Teaching teens about charity work can be an experience your teen may continue with into adulthood.

There are many reasons why a teenager might consider giving their time for charity work and helping others. Teens often learn that being charitable has rewards of its own; they’ll see that sharing their time can help them feel good about themselves.
What types of activities could a teenager volunteer for that would make a difference in someone else’s life? Actually there are many ways teens can volunteer, some right in their own neighborhood or city.

The holidays are a great time to teach your teen about charity work. Quite often rescue missions offer free meals during Thanksgiving or Christmas. This may be the only hot meal some people eat if they are homeless. Teens can volunteer to help cook or serve the meal. They may also help clean up afterwards.

Explain to your teen that charitable opportunities are all around them. There are television commercials from charities that help children in other parts of the world. There are children’s hospitals that would probably be thrilled to have someone come to read stories to sick children. Nursing and convalescent homes would also appreciate having someone to come to read to their patients, especially if their family isn’t nearby.

As a parent, your most effective way of teaching your teen is by example. If they see you giving your money, your time, and your unused items, they may be more willing to participate as well.

Take an afternoon as a family and gather up good, used clothes that you don’t wear any longer. Ask your teen to take them to the homeless shelter, Salvation Army, or Goodwill store. You can also donate books, toys, and any other item that can still be used.

Go through your kitchen pantry to see if there are food items that can be shared with those less fortunate. Perhaps a family in your town have recently had a fire and lost everything they owned. Find out where they are staying, what they need, and see if there is anything your family can share.

It’s not difficult teaching teens about charity work, especially if you’ve always been charitable as a family. Your teen will see that there are those less fortunate than themselves. They will also learn that giving can give back by helping them feel good about themselves when they reach out to those in need.

7 Tips To Make a Smooth Transition between Work and Family Time

Posted on February 24, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting

Your day has been long and hectic. You’re tense and ready to go home. Unfortunately, you’re concerned that you might bring home the tension from work and that it will affect your family time. Here are some ideas of how to create a smooth transition between work and family time that may help you.

Use the drive or commute home as a way to relax. If you’re driving, find some soothing music to listen to. If you’re riding a bus or train home, why not take a book with you to read on your commute? This will help you begin to relax so you’re less stressed when you return home.

If you arrive home before everyone else, try to set a relaxed mood. Change out of your business clothes, put on comfortable shoes, and take a few minutes to relax. There’s no reason to begin rushing around if you’re home alone. Give yourself a break - you’ve worked hard all day and you deserve it.

What do you do when everyone arrives home at the same time and there’s no time to relax before you’re faced with everyone at once? Try asking everyone to go to their rooms and get comfortable. After they’ve had a chance to do that, you’ll have your few minutes of peace and quiet before they all appear again.

Do you have a routine that you generally follow each evening? You and your family can ease into your routine by taking time to sit down and talk for a few minutes. It’s important to reconnect after you’ve been away from each other all day. Taking this time may also help your entire family to relax so the transition from work and school to family time is less abrupt.

Have a small snack – fruit or vegetable slices – available for them so you can begin preparing dinner without people bugging you about when it will be done. A small snack before dinner, just enough to cut the hunger, can also help your children calm down while you’re busy with dinner.

You may want to ask your family to help prepare the meal. This will also give you an opportunity to talk about your day without anyone feeling like they’re being given the fifth degree. In fact, spending time together while cooking dinner can be a great way to reconnect for everyone in the family, so why not make dinner preparation a family affair?

Have someone set the table so you can eat and then enjoy the meal you’ve prepared together. Take time to keep the conversation going by asking open-ended questions about each other’s day. This is one of the best ways to create a smooth transition between work and family time.

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